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Australian Invasion

Australian InvasionA capacity crowd was on hand at Wellington High School on Friday 31st August to witness an exciting evening of the best in New Zealand versus Australian pro wrestling. Kiwi Pro Wrestling General Manager Terry the Golden Greek had made good on his promise to provide the best from across the Tasman to teach the Kiwis that they were inferior in all aspects, especially pro wrestling.  To this end, he fielded the so-called 'Thunder from Down Under' team:  Grudge would face Rogue Trooper and Max "the Axe" Damage would be taking on the massive Iron Horse.  The main event was scheduled to be the ex-pat Tank and the fearsome Sheik Mohammad El-Zaqawi versus the unlikely combination of Team Pretty's Jonnie Juice and his long time foe, Kiwi Pro Wrestling champion H-Flame.  The question was - would it be a three zip whitewash as the Golden Greek predicted early in the show?  

The show began with Jessie and Hollie of Team Pretty waving New Zealand flags and singing the NZ national anthem.  Sadly, this display of hometown pride was cut short by the raucous arrival of Terry the Golden Greek and his Australian charges, apparently fresh from clearing New Zealand customs.  The Greek demanded that the NZ national anthem be silenced and the Australian national anthem played instead.  Reluctantly, Kiwi Pro Wrestling complied and the Australians strutted around ringside as if they intended to own the place by right of conquest.  Having made no friends - never his intention - GM Terry and his Australian hired guns retired to the back to prepare for their matches later in the evening.  

Shiek, Tank, GrudgeSpecial Guest commentators Hollie from Team Pretty and the 'Ayatollah of High Rollas' Charlie Roberts took the helm, and Kiwi Pro Wrestling's "Australian Invasion" commenced!  The opening match saw the sleek "Icewolf" Christopher Simons take on the debuting man from the Eighties, Chris DeLorean.  Simons was looking to impress in his second-ever Kiwi Pro Wrestling match and took to the fight to the mulleted newcomer.  DeLorean tried to throw off the Icewolf's game plan with his clashing tights and neon green boots, but Simons was not to be outdone.  A stunning uranage backbreaker by Simons halted De Lorean's offence and must have made DeLorean wish he was back studying his old Midnight Rockers tapes.  Icewolf missed a flying headbutt, allowing DeLorean a brief respite.  However, in the end, the Icewolf came through, using his "Howling At The Moon" half-crab arm-grapevine hold for the submission win.  

The second match of the night was a repeat from Kiwi Pro Wrestling's "Kaos Theory", with 'Brute' J.E. O'Rourke accepting Dr Diablo's demand of a rematch.  Diablo's confidence seemed to steer him in the wrong direction, as he tried to match his strength with the second-generation wrestler and came off second best. To make matters worse, referee Kade Morgan seemed to be favouring O'Rourke, not admonishing him for using closed fists and making fast counts whenever the Brute covered Diablo.  The good Doctor's Latin temper turned sour as referee Morgan's bias became more and more evident.  He and the Doctor had heated exchanges throughout the match.  The Brute dominated the Doctor with his strength and ring acumen, turning a simple armbar into a nearly inescapable hold.  Somehow, Diablo kept slipping out to continue the attack, surviving a massive suplex, a punishing Michinoku Driver II and Morgan's quick counts.  Diablo managed to squeeze out of a vice-like rear chinlock and took the fight to O'Rourke.  Two running clotheslines rattled the Brute a little, but it took a flying lariat from the low-flying luchador to take O’Rourke off his feet.  An enraged O'Rourke retaliated with a pair of lariats of his own but Diablo managed to use his speed to hit the Arriba (DDT).  Covering the downed O’Rourke for what should have been a sure-fire three count, referee Kade Morgan delivered the slowest count of the night.  Diablo's temper boiled over.  A shoving match with Morgan turned ugly when Diablo blocked Morgan's punch and flattened him with a big right hand.  The furious Morgan rolled out of the ring, tore off his referee's shirt and yelled that he quit.  O'Rourke staggered to his feet and seemed perturbed that Morgan was storming off.  Seeing a golden opportunity, Diablo rolled up O'Rourke and replacement referee Daniel Martin slid into the ring to deliver the fair three count.  The victorious Dr Diablo quickly exited the ring, leaving the furious O'Rourke to rage about his loss.  

Wrestling's original Odd Couple took on wrestling's original bad boys in the night's first tag team match, as fan favourites 'Powerhouse' Jade Diamond and Purple Haze teamed up to take on Terry the Golden Greek's boys, the Ram and Irishman Mike Ryan.  The Overstayers proved that Terry's faith in them was well-founded as they first cut the ring in half and then attempted to cut Purple Haze in half with various punishing double-team moves.  Purple Haze fought back, 'kissing the sky' with a stunning top rope splash on the Ram for what seemed to be a sure win, before Ryan broke up the count.  Next, Jade Diamond took on the Ram, scrambling the Fijian Freedom Fighter's brains with a big delayed vertical suplex.  The Powerhouse set the Ram up for the torture rack, but Ryan wasted no time in rescuing his team-mate.  Thrown to the outside, Diamond was unable to prevent his team mate from suffering Ram's RO (Rammed Out).  Ram then dipped into his bag of tricks to pull out his new and improved Ramification (TKO) to dim Purple Haze's lights for the pinfall win.  

New Aussie WrestlingNext, it was the first Australia versus New Zealand match of the night as lean, mean Grudge from Australia took on Kiwi Pro Wrestling's Rogue Trooper.  Right from the outset, the Australian wrestler was determined to dictate the pace, calmly taking a powder and repeatedly exiting the ring without locking up with his opponent.  He obviously hoped to anger Rogue Trooper into making a mistake - his actions certainly angered the capacity crowd.  Any hopes of sportsmanship were soon dashed, as Grudge - looking like the love child of Alice Cooper and the Terminator - refused to return a clean break, and went to the hair to break a top wristlock.  The two traded holds, with Terry the Golden Greek at ringside to offer encouragement to Grudge.  Rogue Trooper fought back with a vertical suplex and gutwrench suplex.  Seeking to continue the offensive with an aerial assault from the top rope,  he was intercepted with a superplex from Grudge that swung the match back in the Australian's favour.  Referee Daniel Martin suffered a knockdown and Terry interfered as Rogue Trooper had Grudge on the ropes, whacking the Kiwi Pro Wrestling wrestler with his ever-present briefcase.  This allowed Grudge to pick up a tainted win and put the Australians one up in the first of the Australia versus New Zealand matches.  After the match, Grudge ran down his opponent on the mike and claimed he'd not have time for New Zealanders nor Kiwi wrestling, as long as the country was run by a woman!  

Bushwacker ShackIn the Bushwhacker Shack, Commissioner Butch Miller reluctantly introduced Terry the Golden Greek and his Australian 'Thunder from Down Under' invasion force.  Terry and the Commissioner got into a heated verbal confrontation which quickly turned nasty as the Australians and Terry tried to beat down the Commissioner, with even commentator Blair 'the Flair' Rhodes getting a cuff from Tank for his troubles.  Luckily, the timely intervention of the Kiwi Pro Wrestling locker room, lead by CEO Rip Morgan, KPW Champion H-Flame and Team Pretty stalwart Jonnie Juice saw order restored to the Shack.  Solid as a rock, Commissioner Butch weathered the storm and lead the Kiwi Pro Wrestling contingent around the ring with the Bushwhacker walk to emphasize that this was his yard!  

In what proved to be the quickest match of the night, the high-flying El Condor took on the vicious Inferno.  Accompanied to the ring by the 'Ayatollah of High Rollers' himself, Charlie Roberts, Inferno showed his aggressive streak by attacking El Condor right from the get-go.  However, a miss on the Flaming Elbowdrop of Doom gave El Condor the opportunity to perch himself on the top rope, ready to fly.  Sadly for the luchador, Inferno displayed his experience by catching the masked man as he came down and drilled him with the Afterburner chokeslam.  Inferno then clamped on the Cinderlock for the win by submission. 

After the match, Inferno continued to punish his opponent, with Charlie Roberts adding injury to insult.  Sickened by the display of poor sportsmanship, 'Powerhouse' Jade Diamond ran out to see off Inferno and Roberts.  Inferno seemed less than impressed with Diamond, challenging the Powerhouse to a match at Kiwi Pro Wrestling's next show, "Halloween Howl II" on October 27!  

The second New Zealand versus Australia match of the night saw 6' 8" monster Iron Horse face Kiwi Pro Wrestling's own big man Max "the Axe" Damage, under the watchful eye of the Golden Greek.  Damage was fired up going into this match, aware that the New Zealander's were one-nil down following Grudge's tainted win earlier in the card.  However, I had occasion to speak to Damage earlier in the day, and he expressed some concern at facing his opponent.  The simple fact of the matter is that Max "the Axe" has never had to face anyone bigger than him in the ring because there isn't any such person available.  That said, Damage never backs down from a fight.  And what a fight it was!  Iron Horse showed his power by hitting a massive side slam on Damage that shook the reinforced ring.  The massive Australian also underscored his strength by suplexing Damage, something I can't recall seeing before.  Iron Horse stunned the crowd and his opponent by hitting a flying leg lariat.  The Australian looked to have the match won with a big splash, but "the Axe" gamely fought back. 

Damage looked all set to Bury the Hatchet between Iron Horse's eyes when Grudge interfered and began beating down Damage with Iron Horse, forcing referee Daniel Martin to disqualify Iron Horse. Seemingly more concerned with sending a message, the two Australian wrestlers pummelled Damage with big double team moves until Damage managed to fight back with a double clothesline that sent Grudge and Iron Horse packing.  

The Australians and New Zealanders were one apiece heading into the main event of the evening.      Ex-pat Tank and the man from the Sudan, Sheik Mohammad El-Zaqawi faced the Kiwi Pro Wrestling 'dream team' of Team Pretty's Jonnie Juice and his long-time foe, KPW champion H-Flame.  The New Zealanders started out by isolating Tank and working on his arm.  H-Flame routed the Aussies from the ring then hit twin pescadoes to the outside! 

The ever-present Terry the Golden Greek led his frustrated boys in a seeming walkout, before reluctantly returning them to the ring.  Coming back from a double-team suplex, the Australians took the fight to the Kiwis with the Sheik hitting a rolling fireman's carry slam and somersault senton to Juice.  The Australians wore Juice down with co-ordinated attacks and the Sheik showing off his mat-wrestling acumen.  H-Flame stormed into the ring several times in frustration.  Juice fought back with a sidewalk slam on Tank, allowing him to tag out to H-Flame.  The Kiwi Pro Wrestling champion took the fight to the Australians then tagged in his partner.  Juice battled valiantly, but fell victim to a top-rope headbutt from Tank and sustained a standing moonsault for a perilously close near-fall.  Switching off, the Sheik tried to catch Juice on the top rope, but Juice fought him off and hit an inverted blockbuster.  Finally managing to make the tag, H-Flame was unleashed on his Australian adversaries.  The match looked to be won when H-Flame hit the H-Bomb on the Sheik, but Tank broke up the count.  A pier four brawl erupted.  Juice clotheslined Tank out of the ring; H-Flame hit a second H-Bomb on the Sheik in the centre of the ring for the pinfall victory and send the Australians packing, two-one.   

However, the victory was short-lived as El-Zaqawi and Tank attacked the victors from behind.  The Australians menaced poor Jessie, with even Terry the Golden Greek getting involved using his handcuffs to secure her to the top rope.  A near-hysterical Hollie rushed to the back to get help and the Kiwi Pro Wrestling locker room emptied, lead by CEO Rip Morgan to see off the Golden Greek's contingent.  Jonnie Juice struggled to stand after the match, having sustained a heck of a beating at the hands of Sheik Muhammad El-Zaqawi and Tank.  H-Flame offered his tag team partner and long-time foe a handshake of respect - and Juice accepted, much to the delight of the capacity crowd.  The Kiwi Pro Wrestling wrestlers celebrated in the ring with Jessie and Hollie of Team Pretty waving the New Zealand flag high. 

The New Zealand national anthem  was played in full to underscore the Kiwi Pro Wrestling victory over Terry the Golden Greek's 'Thunder from Down Under' Australian invasion force!   Kiwi Pro Wrestling returns to Wellington High School on Saturday October 27th for 'Halloween Howl II'. Be there.

This is Blair 'the Flair' saying, I'll see you at ringside!